April 6, 2010
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Things that make me giggle…
Meet Robin, my latest foster dog from Atlanta Pet Rescue.
Here she is shown lounging on the deck with my dog Madison (an APR alum). She is 7.5 lbs of joy. I don’t know what happened to her before she came into the dog shelter system but something caused her to be afraid. Sure enough dogs, unlike humans, are more willing to let go of baggage. She was scared of riding in the car and for the first two hours at my house she was frightened. Then suddenly, she started exploring and now she feels quite at home. She is playing with Madison, enjoying our everyday rituals and is happy to explore, relax and be a dog. I took this video and posted it on you tube…
Gosh does that make me giggle. I know that I fuss sometimes with my pillow but just darn, that is soooo funny!!!
Amazing, in life as we progress we haul around all that baggage. We keep the strongest attachments and learn so much from experiences based in fear, hurt and loss.
I am the host family for a student from Fiji this year. She comes from a very modest background and Fiji holds ZERO opportunities for her to grow in life. There are no jobs, her community was horribly repressive to women and she still has to contend with a cast system as she is part Indian. She met a wonderful man in September and they are getting married in May. I took her to the running of the brides and got her wedding dress. Yesterday I took her for alterations work on the dress. Now thanks to my baggage, I am discovering I have certain feelings about marriage and weddings. My wedding itself was not any sort of joyous occasion. I neglected to do anything that would make me happy and spent so much energy on everyone else that by the time I was walking down the eisle, I was miserable. The experience of buying my wedding dress was not joyous and no one “helped” me in a way that I “helped” Ranjita. In fact I wound up buying two. The first one that I loved was a miserable buying experience, my husband saw a photo of in a magazine and said “well after the ceremony you can use it to mop the floor”. He had no idea that was my dress. I sold it on ebb and bought another dress off of ebb. Heck at my wedding when it was “speech” time ~ I WASN’T EVEN MENTIONED. Two days after I was married I was at Atlantis playing black jack with my husband and he began taking my chips as he was loosing. The entire experience was void of one thing THE BRIDE. I can’t go back and redo all this. Most were my mistakes as I let this all happen. I was an active part in my bad experiences. I can help to be sure that Ranjita doesn’t have these experiences. I wonder if like Robin I would just explore, I would let it go?
Comments (5)
I’ll start off on a lighter side… Nice deck; would it happen to be synthetic or real wood? And with your general background in a certain area of construction; was wondering if this was a project done by yourself? I also couldn’t happen to notice the planter on the deck. Unfortunately with this past winter; most of those planting bases would have a difficult time surviving outdoors- even without the plants.
Sorry to read (or even hear??) that the current wedding planning brough back the bad reflections of your own experience. Which reminds me; did anyone in the family happen to “see through him” and then address their concerns to you? And also- was the Vegas wedding more your idea or his?
At the Vegas thing; do you happen to recall crossing paths with someone whom perhaps (ever so) slightly resembled a younger version of Redford; or perhaps a different version of (say) Sir Richard Branson?
In closing… With all of that stress lately you may indeed need that vaction to NYC.
It also reminds me of what my personal definition of love is. Although I won’t burden the general reading audience with my extensive definition and all of it’s details- here’s a few thoughts on the issue… Love is like a shared vacation- a type of working vacation and escape. Yet once one gets their foot in the door all of the work into the shared relationship never really ends. With the right person it can remain solemates indefinately.
Now naturally that is a trex deck! I don’t want to sand, stain and seal every year. A little pressure washing and it is beautiful! I hired a wonderful carpenter to do it for me. A+
Funny what I do and do not remember in Vegas. Sadly most of the things I remember were not pleasant with the exception of one. The morning of my wedding everyone had gone their own way but one of my most treasured friends and I had a nice long breakfast with him and walked around before I walked the plank. All this to say that sadly I have not brought back any memories of anyone as handsome as Robert Redford or Sr. Richard Branson. :( Maybe with more writing and more time, the focus of my memory will change. I certainly hope so!
I like the shared vacation. A soft way of saying how great it can be but both people have to participate. Nice.
And if I might make a suggestion to someone such as yourself’; even though for th emost part you are a complete stranger…
In this new relationship, please try not to do the comparison and contrast thing with the new person. Although still try to see through all of the new persons strengths and weaknesses.
And you still might want to put the new person through a few tests here and there; and even have a few of your close friends also express their concerns- although watch for what those same riends motives might truely be.
And yes put forth a serious effort into a relationship, but… Don’t even really want it to happen; just let it happen on it’s own.
To conclude; my strongest recommendations of the day… If it does indeed work out long term for hom and you… Two vacation ideas… The Homestead resort; or even better- the Grienbrier
@nixon101 - Little confused here about the new relationship thing??? I have been in a relationship since about 6 months after my divorce so it isn’t new. I just haven’t really been contemplating marriage since I thought it would be important to think how I feel about marriage now. Strange how some ideas haven’t changed a bit and others have shall we say “are covered in mud” from the marriage to the ex.
Of course it wasn’t until I was married that I learned about things that make me nuts. I mean why did I feel so compelled to absorb the role of “mom” as wife?? That was odd. Of course my ex expected me to do everything so much so that if he wanted to do laundry, he would sort out his own and only do his own but I was responsible for doing all of it if I was doing laundry????? Huh?
So right now I am very happy with a relationship with two separate houses and my own laundry.
What is so great about these vacation spots????
Well let me remodify my perfect vacation list…
#1. Without question or competition; it would be Vail Colorado. Even if one happens to literally never ski; it can also be a quiet visit even during the off season. One could enjoy the best versions of local accomidations in a place such as a hotel; but I can suggest far better than that. There are local residents which on a vey temporary basis actually rent out there houses (or perhaps condo’s)- which is actually quite good. Something that the average Joe/Josehine will notice is that this area still has some of the most expensive real estate in the world. Even though it doesn’t have beaches; for me this place is paradise on Earth. Average cost of property there near ski areas is just under one million dollars per bedroom. ** Hint- hint** They even have very nice roofs there.
#2. If done correctly traveling to Europe can be less expensive than a vacation to Hawaii. Might I suggest the principality of Luchtenstein; which is so small that it is not much larger than the average United States county. Well worth looking into.
#3. Salzburg Austria (a country much different from where the roos are). also a place close enough to Luchtenstein that’s it’s well worth visiting.
#4 The mystery gift. Guess what, on this site I’m quite anonomous; so unfortunately I can’t give myself up by telling you where exactly number four is.
#5 The Grienbrier; White Sulfer Springs (and who would ever think that it’s in a place like) West Virginia. It’s been around since before the civil war; and was actually used during the civil war; and also as a type of NORAD site during the cold war- kind of like the present site “R” in Pennsylvania- or perhaps the present nuke proof site now for “the cogs” now hidden elsewhere in West Virginia. It even used to be owned by the railroad company CSX; but now under new management. All one happens to do is to look through their internet site or even a brochure; you’ll be sold. And it gets even better in person. Truely an American castle.
#6 The Homestead. Another American castle.
That’s all for now on the list. Enjoy New York!!