January 18, 2011
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Angry…
Last night I was in a conversation with my honey and got absolutely set off. I mean really pissed. So much so I said, “I think we are done talking for the evening” and that was the end of the conversation. Now he thinks that is funny. I wasn’t joking but how would you know since he couldn’t see me through the phone.
Now part of my anger I am sure stems from the fact that there are differences between men and women and the other part is that it is totally old baggage from my ex husband. But here it is ~ in general (I do mean this in a general term and then will go to specifics) women think of everything down to the details to make sure that a man is comfortable and at ease and a man doesn’t clue in on these things. Thus men come off as more self centered.
My honey is not selfish. He is clueless and does and says things that are self centered but not at the expense of others. Just out of being a big dumb guy. My ex husband would actively choose whatever pleases him at the minute specifically at the expense of others. Not surprising for an addict. That is common behavior and someone that is in the grips of addiction is not only NOT sorry for the choices but also justifies them. Therefore when my honey does something that I perceive of a self centered, I automatically hit the pissed off button, since that is my history of exposure.
We are planning two trips this year, one to San Diego and the other to Alaska. Now Alaska is a trip that I won from a manufacturer and I will buy in another place on the trip to take my honey with me. Honey, on the other hand, gets invited all over the damn world all the friggin time to cool places. Last night he was blathering on about his latest, Scottland and sure enough like a big dumb idiot, I thought he was planning on inviting me. Then he asked to be sure it won’t interfere with his ability to go fishing in Alaska I realized he wasn’t thinking of me at all. And to be an even bigger fucking idiot, he then followed up with “well you wouldn’t have fun during THIS conference” ~ as if I need a baby sitter. I go my way while he works and we meet up at some point. Last time I checked, I am one of the most independent people I have met.
I think about everyone’s needs and wants all the god damn time. WTF, why don’t I get equal consideration?
AND to further my upset, Steve Jobs took another leave from Apple. I wish that I had as much creativity, vision and risk taking skills as he has in his pinkie. I wish him well and for a total restoration of good health!
This is my rant for the day. I have to figure out how to tactfully have a discussion with my honey and right now I am just too pissed off to be fair to any of his responses.
Comments (1)
I’ll cover the easier side of the topic first… IF going to San Diego might I also suggest either a fly-by to San Francisco – or better yet if time permits – a drive up the coast to SF.
Second part of easier topics… Steve Jobs… While his creativity and vision are above average – it’s also his ability to find and hire people that support that. So I’d consider it as more of a team effort. But as for that third aspect I’m not too sold on that one. Perhaps at a different time he took more risks, but that seems to have gone by the wayside. Even though he is technically on leave, I’m sure he’ll keep on top of the key issues and decisions.
I’ve made genuine and full fledged presentations on how Apple/Mac could increase their market share by even doubling it, but it seemed not to be worthy enough. Oh well.
And now saving the hardest part to tackle for last… A good part of the best of relationships is the ability to sync – to almost have the ability to read the other person. Unfortunately most will never have that.
It’s a bit sad that he missed the obvious, when you ended the conversation. Also wondering if he ever managed to figure it out – eventually.
As for the traveland invite thing – I’ll save my ideas for some other time perhaps, but here’s a hiny – fully knowing that he too could also be reading this… Ask him for some more independent time while on the Alaska thing.