July 29, 2010
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Part III?
Oh, it happened again. Another anxiety attack. Attack number 3. This time at 5am. Fortunately I was able to calm down enough to get back to sleep.
So then I proceeded to oversleep, try eight times to get my left contact in and spilled water on my white pants. Oh well. Sometimes you just have to say “I surrender”.
The funny thing is that last night was all about me and relieving stress. I worked out on the elliptical for 45 min while watching a funny movie. Then I went to a vinyasa flow yoga class for 1.5 hrs. It was fun! I got some good food, took a benadryl for my cold then went to bed.
I know these attacks are a side effect of the meds but I am still surprised how they seem to come out of the blue. Now clearly they aren’t coming out of blue since they are my core fears magnified. However it is like an emotional mugging. You didn’t expect it and are afraid that it will happen again.
Aside from the fact that I have a slight cold, I am feeling less anxious with the slight step down in medicine. Next week I will step down a bit more. My energy levels are good and the only other issues I have is pain in my right knee. I hope to maintain the good health while getting off the hydrocortisone. Until then, I guess I will just have to be open to another emotional mugging and to understand it is the irrational, emotional baggage that I have ignored. It isn’t logical, and it enjoys a good temper tantrum in the form of an anxiety attack.
