March 13, 2010
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keeping busy
OK I have done the spectrum of irrational fear and now I am trying to come back to center. The worst part is that I am anxious and normally I would go to Bikram yoga and that would help me to relax. I have a stitches in my back where they removed the spot and sent it to pathology so I can’t go to yoga for two days for fear of pulling out the stitches. So I am going to proceed with my weekend plans of continuing in the backyard.
But the worry has me quite tired. I will just have to work slowly. I also have to work in smaller steps so that I don’t rip out the stitches. OK, a lesson in patience. Don’t you just HATE lessons in patience? Yuck.
Good news is that I picked up my strawberry plants, three blueberry bushes and two olive trees (no not ready to extend any branches yet
) I will hang my woolly pockets on the fence and fill it with the strawberries and other herbs. I also need to start putting down my drip irrigation. Does this sound like I have planned enough busy work for myself? Some times you just have to just turn on a flashlight into the darkness until the sun comes back to show you there is nothing to fear. I am ready for that day. I am also ready for my honey to come home. That won’t be until tomorrow night. He is a scientist so he would be really great to have a discussion on cell replication with me and honestly, that is not what I want at all. I just want him to give me a good squeeze and make his fantastic coffee for me. I don’t like being alone right now. Although my border collie really can give a great hug!
